That is what I have in my life. Not only do I have Austin who loves me as his mom no matter what but I have Zach, my loving husband who does whatever he can to make me happy.  He supports me in whatever I want to do.  He has even, thru doing some research, found a way to help my fibromyalgia.  He cares that much.  I am truly blessed and a lucky woman.  I am amazed by the love that surrounds me daily. 

We also got a dog ~ named Buddy.  He is a red heeler/terrier mix.  And he is a really good dog!  It's nice having him around.  

I got a job ~ at a real estate office.  I am the admin assistant and so far it is okay ~ the days are long on Saturdays ~ from 12 to 14 hours, but other than that, I think it is okay.  It's a job, right?

I still haven't gotten back into my spirituality like I should be.  Partly because all of my stuff is still in boxes from when we moved.  We moved into a 2 bedroom house from a 3 bedroom house and there just isn't room for all the stuff I had ~ I need to find a way to make some stuff fit.

The only music I have listened to lately is Lacuna Coil ~ I am in love with them! Here are the lyrics to "A Current Obsession" :

Come to me
To feel my protection
A countdown to my revelation
No more respect
For your regrets

And your time has come

The naked truth is in disguise
It's your secret complication
Exhausted of this sacrifice
Just like a lying preacher

Hiding to survive

So strong living in torture
I know that you will never see
The light again
the light again

So hard living in torture
Erase the burning fear into
Your eyes again
your eyes again

This silent scream is stronger now
You cannot keep it too long
This cloud evolving into rain
Your desert seems so far now

Come into my arms
fall into my arms

So strong living in torture
I know that you will never see
The light again
the light again

So hard living in torture
Erase the burning fear into
Your eyes again
your eyes again

Following your line
I'm losing mine

So strong living in torture
I know that you will never see
The light again
the light again

So hard living in torture
Erase the burning fear into
Your eyes again
your eyes again

Well that is the latest from me.  Sorry it has taken me so long to get back in here to post, I just haven't been inspired to write nor have I had much time.  I promise it won't be so long next time.  I am planning on adding to the top of this page so be on the lookout !

I am obsessed with the band Within Temptaion.  Here are the words for their song Angels that I absolutely am in love with :

Sparkling angel I believed
you were my saviour in my time of need.
Blinded by faith I couldn't hear
all the whispers, the warnings so clear.
I see the angels,
I'll lead them to your door.
There's no escape now,
no mercy no more.
No remorse cause I still remember
the smile when you tore me apart.

Chorus:
You took my heart,
deceived me right from the start.
You showed me dreams,
I wished they would turn into real.
You broke the promise and made me realise.
It was all just a lie.

Sparkling angel, I couldn't see
your dark intentions, your feelings for me.
Fallen angel, tell me why.
What is the reason, the thorn in your eye?

I see the angels,
I'll lead them to your door
There's no escape now
no mercy no more
No remorse cause I still remember
the smile when you tore me apart

Chorus:
You took my heart,
deceived me right from the start.
You showed me dreams,
I wished they would turn into real.
You broke the promise and made me realise.
It was all just a lie.
Could have been forever.
Now we have reached the end.

This world may have failed you,
it doesn't give you reason why.
You could have chosen a different path in life.
The smile when you tore me apart.

An amazing song from an amazing band.  Not much has been going on ~ I am applying to some work at home places and we will see how that goes.  Also, we are planning on getting me a car with our tax return .. it will be nice to have wheels again.

Am re-reading The Red Book by Sara Beak ~ Just a wonderful book.  Really makes you think. 

I need to get back to my spirituality.  I have strayed and feel it. 

That is about it for now ~ will post more when I have some coherant thoughts.

Well happy 2008.  It's been a while since I last posted and mostly that has been because my mind has been a blank.  It's as if my muse has left for good , which I hope not.  Things have been going well and I have been in a good mood ~ Austin has been doing great in school which I am proud of and my love is wonderful. 

My muse just came back for a bit as I was typing this ~ here is a SHORT poem called "Pacing"

Restlessly pacing
Admist heartbreaking
Walk up and down
What is allowed

Constantly in motion
Wishing for a potion
To stop the racing
And the heartbreaking

Copyright©Renee Jan 14 2008

That pretty much describes me right now ~ my mind is constantly racing but is drawing a blank.  It's hard to explain. 

Anyway, would love to hear from you guys ~ I have missed you!

'Til the next haunt ....

I am stuck in a perpetual state of being glued to the couch.  All I want to do these days is lay around.  I know it's because I am blue, but why I don't know.  Part of it is we had to get rid of our kitty, she was just tearing up too much stuff around here.  I miss her like mad.  But we had to do it.  It just sucks.  I wish I knew why I was blue .. that would help things out a lot. 

Austin has been sick with an ear infection.  He went back to school today so let's hope he is feeling better.  Thanksgiving was nice ... we spent it at family's.  Austin had most of the week off from school, so that was great to have him around more. 

Leaving with these words from Three Days Grace ~ Never Too Late :

This world will never be
What I expected
And if I don't belong
Who would have guessed it
I will not leave alone
Everything that I own
To make you feel like it's not too late
It's never too late

Even if I say
It'll be alright
Still I hear you say
You want to end your life
Now and again we try
To just stay alive
Maybe we'll turn it all around
'Cause it's not too late
It's never too late

No one will ever see
This side reflected
And if there's something wrong
Who would have guessed it
And I have left alone
Everything that I own
To make you feel like
It's not too late
It's never too late

Even if I say
It'll be alright
Still I hear you say
You want to end your life
Now and again we try
To just stay alive
Maybe we'll turn it all around
'Cause it's not too late
It's never too late

The world we knew
Won't come back
The time we've lost
Can't get back
The life we had
Won't be ours again

This world will never be
What I expected
And if I don't belong

Even if I say
It'll be alright
Still I hear you say
You want to end your life
Now and again we try
To just stay alive
Maybe we'll turn it all around
'Cause it's not too late
It's never too late
Maybe we'll turn it all around
'Cause it's not too late
It's never too late (It's never too late)
It's not too late
It's never too late

'Til the next haunt ...

We decided not to move afterall.  We love it here too much.  So that is that.

I have been typing a lot of wrong letters lately .. dont know why.  I used to be profecient and not mess up.  *Sigh*  O well.

Not much else going on ~ Austin has been sick with a stomach virus since Wednesday.  He seems to be doing better today so let's hope so.

Anyway, just wanted to update on the moving thing.  Will write a proper entry soon.